Long day at work today!!

Now watching Gilmore girls to chill out…while waiting for hubby to come home to cook…

Eating organic promegranate.. Bought them at the farmers market at work

I have this affirmation note next to my bed.. I copied the drawing and words from Carly Marie, she experienced loss of her baby as well and since then had been doing all sorts of grieve projects to help other mommas. She's understood what it feels like going through pregnancy after loss..

Pregnancy positive affirmation:

I have been blessed with the gift of a precious baby. Each day that passes my love for my child grows deeper. My baby feels safe and peaceful in my womb.

My body is amazing and wise. It knows exactly what to do. I invoke all the love and support from the millions of women who have walked this road before me. As I carry and nurture this new life, I am too held and supported

I release all fears and any guilt surrounding pregnancy that I may have felt in the past. I now trust, love and thank my body.

Whenever I feel anxious, I stop and take deep breaths. I send lovingly, calm thoughts to each cell in my body. I am calm. I am peaceful. I am strong. I am perfect health. All is well and safe with my baby and I.

Thank you Carly Marie for all the beautiful work you did, anyone interested, or went through loss or are grieving, check her at
http://carlymarieprojectheal.com

Asos!!!! Bought two knits from the Asos maternity range and it arrived yesterday.. Was so happy. It's getting cold here, and I like to feel warm..

Craved for a cold drink, so made honey, lime and passion fruit drink..

Just like what I expected, I noticed that I had very dry and itchy skin and I have a few more acne spots :-(, my doctor is not happy with my thyroid blood test, so I will need to increase my thyroid medication to 1 grain a day.

It's getting colder and perhaps baby's growing and absorbing some of my thyroid hormones.. So it's ok.. Will have to relax a bit more and take it easy as I up my thyroid medication so that I don't fall into the adrenal fatigue cycle again..

Need to not go so crazy with food, cos suspect my food intolerances symptoms are coming back.. Ugh.

No eggs
No almonds
No wheat or gluten
No dairy

Just have to do more food rotation, since whenever I eat too much of one thing, I develop a sensitivity to it, so gotta eat different types of food .. I guess no excuse since I don't have much of morning sickness now..

On a positive note, baby's doing well! Strong heart beat.. 🙂 maybe my food sacrifices will be worth it!!

Pay it forward!!

#payitforwardondayre

Since 2014 has been a tough year for me and after all the terrible tragedies that have happened in 2014 and are happening, this world needs as much kindness as it can get. I am participating in 'pay it forward' initiative. The first 3 people who comment on this post with "i'm in" will receive a surprise from me at some point in this calendar year

Anything from a ticket, something homemade, a postcard, an act of kindness, absolutely any surprise!

There will be no warning and it will happen when the mood comes of when I find something that I believe would suit you and make you happy. These 3 people must make the same offer on their dayre. I will contact you for address if you are the first 3.

Then you can copy and paste this message and put it on your dayre, so we can form a web connection of kindness..!

Let's help brighten another persons day, create some extra happiness in this world, and spread the kindness.. 🙂

Give me anything savory and salty, I will be your best friend, dunno why this pregnancy, I love to eat all things savory..

Right after dinner of roast chicken and rice and veg, I still want to eat bread with jam for something sweet..
#dayrefatties

eating day

Went for a thermomix demo today at my colleague's house.. Such an impressive kitchen tool, finally get to see it first hand

This is mushroom risotto made by thermomix..

Gluten free bread.. Made using rice, chickpea and tapioca flour

My friend's friend made watermelon and strawberry sorbet, focaccia, mushroom risotto, chocolate custard, all within 2 hours

Meet lil cutie nala! She enjoyed watching the demo too..

After eating so much at the demo, came home and hubby cooked salmon wrapped in lemon leaves for lunch..#dayrefatties

My whole body so itchy today!! Even after i marinated myself with heaps of oil, I am scratching myself like a monkey all day… Maybe gotta apply many many times, or top it up with creams and lotions

How much oil or creams do I have to put on my skin to stop this itchiness..

adrenal fatigue

This morning, I had yummy egg soup with tang hoon. Sometimes I wish i can just cook like maggi Mee to eat #pregnancycravings

Yesterday at work I stressed myself up helping another colleague with her work, cos she's has a 4pm meeting with her portfolio director and since I was free, I offered, ended up making myself so anxious and stress trying to rush out the reports and correct some of the forecast data.

Self inflicted stress…

Ended up my tummy so tense.. Baby baby, mummy is sorry, hope you don't think this world is a stressful place!

Was my dad's surprise 60th bday celebration dinner last night. My brother gave him a surprise by going home from London. He was so happy!! I want to be back home as well to celebrate with him but cos of I had adrenal fatigue before I fell pregnant, I decided that it's best for me take it easy and just be there in spirit..

What's adrenal fatigue?
Adrenal fatigue is produced when your adrenal glands cannot adequately meet the demands of stress.* The adrenal glands mobilize your body's responses to every kind of stress (whether it's physical, emotional, or psychological) through hormones that regulate energy production and storage, immune function, heart rate, muscle tone, and other processes that enable you to cope with the stress.

Whether you have an emotional crisis such as the death of a loved one, a physical crisis such as major surgery, or any type of severe repeated or constant stress in your life, your adrenals have to respond to the stress and maintain homeostasis. If their response is inadequate, you are likely to experience some degree of adrenal fatigue.*
(From Adrenal fatigue.org)

I will let the pictures explain some of the symptoms..,

You get angry and annoyed with anything and anyone

Simple tasks were like super tiring for me…

Too tired to do anything..

I knew that something was wrong, cos like small things which were not stressful for anyone else or I wouldn't be stress abt in the past, I was incredibly stressed out! I thought I was going crazy!!

So I got my cortisol level tested using a 4 point saliva sample test and the results showed that I had low cortisol levels throughout the day, and cortisol is produced by our adrenal glands, cortisol hormone is needed for our body to handle stress, I was so depleted, no wonder my body was exhausted!

I remembered that I was so not myself, so highly anxious, even watching tv was too stimulating? I couldn't stand loud noises or perfumes, I was pacing back and forth, and so exhausted but wired! Like too tired until cannot sleep? My heart was racing as well, a sign of stress..

Last October was my lowest point. Losing my first child was stressful, the 5 months when she was in incentive care was exhausting and very emotional for me, then my company had a restructure, it was my daughter's one death year anniversary that month, she passed away on the 15th of oct which coincides with the international baby loss day, I think I cried a lot that month, those deep intense cries where your whole body shakes.. Maybe a lot of the trauma and sadness were suppressed in my body

So my doctor strictly advised me to take a break from work, gave me extended medical leave, so I spent 3 months learning to love myself again, resting when I needed, allowing not achieving, letting go, coming to terms with my grief and sadness, cried buckets cos i was so hard on myself and let myself down..

I was so hard on myself.. I wish I took more care of myself and treated myself like a precious baby instead

I was not eating much carbs, on strict diet for my thyroid, and then went for hot yoga and infrared sauna to aid my Mercury detox to prepare for next baby. I kept pushing on, keep wanting to change things, and myself.
I noticed that in this generation, most ppl are pushing hard with all these unnecessary expectations about how to live life, to achieve this and that, but adrenal fatigue has taught me to balance life and let go of too much striving and achieving and allowing things to flow to me

Let yourself flow with the rhythm of how you feel. Work, rest and play – it's up to you.

So please please be gentle with yourself no matter what you are going through, say kind words to yourself, listen to your body.. And it's perfectly ok to get support or ask for help. We are not Heros. Your body will thank you for that 🙂

Today, I am feeling so much better, happier, more at ease, I still get stressed now when I do too much or get too stimulated but I know what's my limit and sloooow right down and rest a lot. I am so glad I listened to my doctor to rest to recover and during those 3 months, I discovered a lot of nice things about myself, doing things I used to love as a child, have a lil dance at home or just crafting, or just being silly, remembering that play is just as important!

Ps: sorry abt the long emo post about adrenal fatigue, I just don't want anyone else to go through what I went through with fatigue.. Take care !!

Yay some of my lemons are now starting to turn colour into the right shade of yellow, so it means harvest time

Others still quite greenish

These lemons are almost ready for harvest

Kaffir lime leave plant look quite bald, why you don't grow more leaves?

Crafty day again today, making a pinkish feminine card..

Guess who I met today??

Cute and rosy cheeks jarrod and pretty mummy @noneofyourbeezwax

It was a really nice and great meet up! It's nice to make new friends this way.. So easy to talk to you @noneofyourbeezwax..

If only miss hana chan and @klutzclumlov are in Melb, then I can watch their love date live!! Haha

Ahhhh.. Feeling so calm and relaxed after my weekly acupuncture.. I feel that acupuncture has helped me a lot overall, my mood, my digestion and with my anxiety..lucky to find a good Chinese doctor. Just feel weird to go to ang moh practitioner for Chinese medicine treatment..

Chilling and I guess going to start eating my snacks of corn chips and smoked eggplant dip again

Went to my garden earlier and noticed that my new lavender plant finally has purple flowers. Yay… Tried to smell it but couldn't smell any lavender scent. Maybe I need to crush it and rub it to get the oils out

Cooked fusion "spaghetti", used rice laksa noodles to make it gluten free..

Laze around day today… Decided to do some light housework, tidying the room I do my craft and as well arranging all my books..

Man, so much clutter, just feel like giving away a lot of things so that I can't see any mess..

I love to colour in when I was younger, so why not do it when you are an adult too #innerchildcomeouttoplay

Colour colour colour!!!!

Made a card for a friend today.. Hope this will cheer her up 🙂

Chicken herbal soup and Ikan bills fried rice for breakfast #trulyasianbaby

Sien.. Hubby's at night class, usually I am not so clingy but dunno why I want him to spend more and more time with me.. Which is hard cos he's working and studying part time mba at the same time. Dunno how he copes, I don't think I can ever study or take exams again

Maybe this describe my moment best: haha

Fried Ikan bills for snack! I am lactose and casein intolerant so I guess Ikan bills is where I can get my calcium from.. Luckily it's a yummy snack

Went out to Richmond for brunch with some girlfriends. It was such a nice catch up! 2 of my friends are expecting in July, just 2 weeks apart from each other. So happy for them!

Lucky me! Hubby ta pau-ed gluten free chocolate cake and mixed berry friand for tea time from green reflectory

Made Mother's Day cards.. This one is for my mummy

This one is for my mother in law

Not my usual noodle soup for breakfast. Made French toast with gluten free buckwheat bread with the lot: jam, peanut butter, honey and strawberries!!

Aiyoyo, noodle soup for lunch, can't help it, this time I add tofu, seaweed and mushroom and eat with sambal belacan. Too bad I don't have seafood, if not can replicate b and best restaurant fish noodle soup with sambal inspired by @kyspeaks. Have to go back home to have the real deal.

Today went to see a private midwife with counseling background for a consultation. My yoga teacher recommended for me to get as much support as I need.

Talking about first pregnancy and the loss can be very releasing cos so many past memories flood back like nobody's business. Also then, maybe it helps me to let go a bit more and I don't get like an emotional breakdown during birth

It's good that the midwife checks my blood pressure, baby's heartbeat ( strong: so yAy! And phew) and measures my tummy

Told my story to her and oh, it's so releasing to say it out loud! Hopefully by doing this, I am making more space to welcome my baby in my womb now.

Teatime: sausage roll!!